What is Success?
If you’re an American, you live in the famed Land of Opportunity.
And if you were born in this amazing country, you’ve grown up with the idea that you can lead a life of success, if you so choose, no matter what walk of life you come from.
But what is success?
And how does one achieve it?
The topic of countless books, seminars, studies, movies, and even degrees, the idea of success is ingrained in our culture.
Americans are taught from a young age – if only through societal expectation – that self worth coincides with the success, but upon reaching adulthood, we don’t stop to look at what success truly means!
Instead, we struggle to align ourselves with external expectations that aren’t always defined, and to achieve goals that are often meaningless to us, all for the sake of appearing successful.
That sort of behavior can lead to feelings of failure and defeat, even if, from the outside, we achieve massive success.
By deeply examining our societal definition of success and building resilience when we fail rather than giving up, we can better achieve our goals, and lead more fulfilling – and successful – lives.
Failure Is a Teacher
None of us wants to fail, and fear that we might can lead to anemic lives of conformity and resentment. Who wants that?!?
America is a place where anyone can succeed, and those successes are celebrated. But ironically, the driving force behind most Americans isn’t success, it’s fear of failure.
Society teaches us that failure is the worst imaginable scenario we can suffer in life, when in reality, failure, while painful, is a teacher.
Failure teaches us resilience – and resilience is success’s best friend.
Failure gives us the opportunity to get up, dust ourselves off, look at what didn’t work, make adjustments, and get back on the horse!
No success comes easily, and no one we think of as successful has gotten to where they are without resilience.
The resilience they learned through failure.
Instead of learning from our mistakes and growing through our challenges – like those who have succeeded before us – the majority of us are so afraid to fail that we stop trying…
And, subsequently, label ourselves a “failure” forever.
Didn’t get the grade you hoped for (even though you prepared)? Failure.
Didn’t do the laundry or dishes today (because you were up all night with the newborn)? Failure.
Don’t look like the idealized form of athlete or guru or business person (despite being fantastic at one or all of those things)? Sorry – you’re clearly a failure.
…Wait, what!?
When you look more closely at these scenarios, you can see they are based on false beliefs!
And even if you didn’t prepare for that test (so you bombed it)…
Or you stayed up too late playing video games (so the chores didn’t get done)…
Or you’re a terrible athlete (and a worse businessman)…
Maybe you’re looking for success in the wrong place and assigning the label of “failure” too flippantly.
You are worthy of examining the stories you tell yourself.
Why? Because in this Land of Opportunity, we are really, really good at placing “failures” where they don’t belong.
Then, we wallow in those perceived failures, and convince ourselves to be smaller than we are…
Which is not only harmful to ourselves, but to everyone around us!
Think how different your life would be if your favorite author or musical artist or actor never pursued their dreams.
Their choices changed your life! Your choices are just as powerful, even if your dreams are very different.
When we don’t value the lessons that come from failure – or understand what success actually is – it is difficult to achieve our dreams and live the lives we were born to live!
So.
Let’s take a closer look at what it means to succeed!
Success Requires Work
Success is, according to Oxford Languages, “the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.”
The dictionary entry goes on to list “the attainment of fame, wealth, or social status” as accepted examples of accomplishment.
Sure, the attainment of fame, wealth, and social status are examples of success.
But what if you don’t want fame?
What if you’re not one who cares much for money (except for meeting basic needs, of course)…
Or someone who enjoys spending time in large social circles, looking to attain status?
What if you don’t want to be President of the United States or the Dean of Harvard Law School or the next 5-star general?
Obviously, there’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting any of those things…
But the world needs all kinds of people, not just the ones who wish to lead it!
Does your desire for a life that may not seem ambitious to the public eye mean you are worthless or that you don’t want to accomplish anything? Of course not!
If your dreams center around helping others reach their dreams…
Or based on internal successes rather than external approval…
And whether your goals are grandiose or simple, from the outside looking in…
You can lead a successful life!
The well-respected and accomplished basketball player and Coach John Wooden’s definition of success reminds us that we can succeed no matter our background, physical or mental abilities, or any other status symbols, as long as we put in the effort.
To Coach Wooden, “Success is peace of mind attained only through self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do the best of which you’re capable.”
Accomplishing an aim or purpose you set out for yourself means you have the power to choose success, even through failure.
Success isn’t a vague, externally rendered quality that is out of reach, except for an “elite” few.
“Knowing you made the effort to do the best of which you’re capable” puts the ball in your court.
You get to decide whether or not you succeed.
Putting in the Work
Knowing you are in charge of your success frees you from living the dreams of others and grants you permission to lead the life you were born to live.
According to Coach Wooden’s definition, you achieve success when you choose to put in the work to realize your dreams…
Whether they include fame and fortune or not…
And whether the outcome ends up looking like you thought it would or not!
Without the work, there is no success.
But when you make the effort, success is yours, even if you don’t reach the finish line before everyone else.
Would Tom Brady be one of the best quarterbacks of all time without putting in the effort to be the best athlete he could be? Of course not!
As you likely know, he put in the work, became the best quarterback he could be, and lo-and-behold, fame and fortune followed.
But even if he’d never been drafted, never won a single Super Bowl, and never led multiple NFL teams to victory…
…if he put in the effort to become the best he could be, he would have been a success.
It may seem hokey, but it’s true.
Furthermore, if all Brady wanted from his career was the fame and fortune, he would never have achieved the levels of fame and fortune he did.
He put in the effort to become the best football player he could be, and look where it got him!
Not everyone is so fortunate – but that doesn’t mean they are failures.
There are only a few NFL quarterback jobs available, and only one Super Bowl winner per season.
Only one gold medal is awarded per Olympic event – but if you get to the olympics at all, you’re a world-class athlete!
Many elite athletes never win the highest prize in their leagues – but they are still successful athletes who play on the highest level in their chosen sport.
So if competing or performing or achieving the highest level of ANY life path is your goal, why not put forth the effort?
If becoming the next most famous quarterback in history and winning a Super Bowl is your dream, maybe you’re a good fit for the job, and maybe you’re not…
But if you don’t try – if you don’t put in the effort – you’ll never know…
And you’ll never feel peace of mind or success regarding your dreams.
Even if you fail in some or all of your quest, you’ll likely discover much more about who you are and what you can accomplish in the process!
Sure sounds worth it to us.
Realizing Your Goals
Are you struggling to find a foothold in your life goals?
Maybe it’s time to examine them!
Are your goals formulated to help you succeed? Are they even something you want?
Yes, we’re serious.
Sometimes, what we call goals are things we believe we should want…but our hearts lie elsewhere.
And if our hearts aren’t in whatever we are aiming for, there’s no chance of success…at least, not without painful consequences.
So be honest with yourself!
Do you really want to ___________ (insert the thing you think you want)? Is it worth the work to achieve it? Are you sure?
Yes?
Then go for it! Make a plan – outlined with achievable, timely milestones – and crush it!
Once you remove the expectations of others when forming your goals…
And allow yourself to focus on what it is you’re truly aiming to accomplish in “your one, wild and precious life,” as the poet Mary Oliver so beautifully said…
You can start finding the success you’ve been longing for.
Because you’re making the effort, you can rest in your peace of mind…
And whatever the outcome is, when you work toward your goals, you’re already living the life you’ve dreamed of.
No one can get more successful than that!
Conclusion
You have what it takes to succeed…
Maybe you simply need to establish a more accurate – and personal – definition of success!
We’d love to help you on your journey to achieving your goals, no matter what they are.
If you need business advice, or simply have questions about what success means to us, give Freedom Foam a call!
We can’t wait to see what you accomplish!
